I have always said that your life is made or broken by who you marry. It really boils down to those with whom you choose to surround yourself. It sounds very cut and dry because in many ways it is.

Making good decisions is not always easy because your heart and your mind do not always coincide. But, the goal is to be with people who fully and completely accept, respect, and want the best for you. But, who you attract is not about others. It comes down to your relationship with yourself first. If you love yourself and accept yourself and all that you have to offer, you will be in a better position to find the love you are seeking. Everyone has something to offer. Everyone.

As a result, I preach and teach self confidence above all else because I think if we feel good about ourselves, we will not settle for less than we deserve, and in turn, will invite the right kind of people in our lives. Confidence often comes down to how you are treated. If people are kind, supportive, encouraging, look out for your best interests, and stand by your side in thick and thin, it shapes and makes who you are. When we feel supported, the foundation is set. When we feel understood and are embraced for our individuality, there is no better validation and it causes us to believe that anything is achievable. Those who are a success at work, in marriage, parenthood, friendships, school, work or any other facet of life, have been uplifted by someone else, which takes me back to marriage and relationships.

While it is important to be with someone who appreciates you, it is critical to find someone who will make you better—who pushes you when you need it, but who is also tender at the right times. If you share the same values, you automatically start out with an advantage. If you forgive, respect and work out your issues together, you get stronger as a couple. Nothing is easy and marriage takes work, but they say if you grow together, you stay together. If one speeds up and the other slows down, you may lose sight of one other and ultimately not be able to get on the same path again—always try to catch up with each other in the end. This does not mean you must see everything eye to eye, but you should share enough common interests and beliefs to make it work. There are those that will help foster everything you have to offer and others who will break you down, which leads me to take this back to the beginning.

You want to surround yourself with good people. People who only want good things for you—those that want you to chase your dreams, encourage you when you need it most and never allow anything to stop you.

You want someone who will fight for you.

You want someone who stands up when you want to stand down.

You want someone who has grit to push through tough times.

You want to have someone who makes you feel good about yourself.

You want to be with someone who does not want to change your essence.

You want to be with someone who wants more for you.

You want to have someone who respects and nurtures you.

You want to be with someone who helps make you feel confident.

You want to be with someone who wants you to be happy.

You want to be with someone who makes you feel loved.

Nothing complicated. No frills. Just simple respect and decency.

One of the most poignant moments in my marriage was when I was rambling about something and I could see my husband tune out. I got frustrated and stopped talking. He apologized and said that if I had something to say, he wanted to hear it because if it was on my mind, it was important to him. If it was on my mind, it was important to him. It was a small, yet pivotal moment, at least for me.

See, when you find the right person you will never have to worry about yourself because that person will always be looking out for you. I never lost track of those words, nor should you. Take care of each other and the rest will take care of itself.

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Roopa Weber
About Roopa Weber
Roopa Weber is a blogger and children’s book author who aspires to inspire better lives through kindness and gratitude. Her motivation came from the values and love provided by her mother. Roopa wanted to find an avenue to instill her mother’s wisdom in her own daughter and carry the message forward generationally. And, so she wrote.