What do we do when we are faced with challenges and adversities?
What do we do when people are being mean spirited, insulting, not their best selves, or exclusionary?
How do we sift through it all to get to a better place?
We all have examples in our lives where we see or experience difficulties (adults and kids alike). Life is more challenging than ever and with everything that makes it easier, some of those things add complexities to our world. For example, technology has offered efficiencies in our lives, but there is an emotional component that cannot be underestimated. Social media comparisons, cyber bullying and a general movement away from real personal connections have had an adverse effect on our psyches and well being.
In our fast paced society, we all move and do things too quickly sometimes leaving carnage in the way without even realizing it. You may walk past someone without acknowledging them because you are thinking of something; you may forgot an important detail or event which makes you seem unfriendly or unsupportive; something may come across wrong or be misinterpreted; or we may even say something to be deliberately hurtful. We all have been recipients or donors of such words and actions. Any or all happen in our day-to-day lives whether or not they are intentional. So how do we handle it when it happens to us? I thought there were no quick and easy answers given the intricacies of each situation. But, one thing that has helped me get to the right place is to ask myself what would my mom do. “What would mummy do?”
There was a situation on which I was having difficulty advising. A child mentioned to me that someone they had been friends with was no longer speaking or interacting with them. They had been close and now…nothing. It was like they never even known each other. It’s a complicated and layered story as many are so I called my mom and asked her what advice I should give.
Mummy being 87 forgets a lot these days, but her intuition and good heart are perfectly in tact. Without hesitation or missing a beat, she said: Love them. Forgive them. (Writing it now makes me teary.) It was so simple to her. She had no need for more background or context. She said when we have love in our hearts, we always prevail. There is no room for resentment, no place for grudges. If we use that room in our hearts for negativity, we have less room for happiness and true fulfillment. I guess every situation can be boiled down to this. It really wasn’t as complicated as I was making it. Leave room for love. Save space for forgiveness. Do not focus on what is wrong, concentrate on those things that go right. Rejoice in what brings you joy and your life will be filled with abundance. Broken down in its purest form, said from someone who always chooses kindness, compassion and understanding over all else. Her heart only has room for love, only for what is good. It’s what she invites and, in turn, what she receives. And you can have it too, if you ask yourself a simple question:
What would mummy do?